Monday, March 15, 2010

Crystal Clear Monday

4 in 4? 3 in 6? 6 in 10? How fast did you have your kids, and did you like the way you did it? I'm in need of some feedback!

This subject has been on my mind a lot lately.

I've heard of doing 4 kids in 4 years, and always thought that was insane! BUT I know that I want a lot of kids. Not like 10, more like 6. Of course we'll take it one child at a time (hopefully no twins, I don't know if I could handle that), but we're thinking about 6 for now.
I used to think that waiting 2 years was perfect, but for some berserk reason I keep thinking I might need another baby now. You know, to give little angel (up there in the picture) a friend? Then again, having one newborn and one toddler...hmmm, I don't know. How about pros and cons? Cons first, let's get those out the door.

Cons: Pregnant again. Morning sickness most likely, while tending the little pumpkin. Pregnant again (I list it twice for emphasis of discomfort). Possiblity of being pregnant during Arizona summer can you say "hot, hot, hot". Crawling/walking baby girl while pregnant, nursing, or and giving birth. Disgruntled Mama (side-effect of pregnancy). Two babies in diapers.

Pros: Two lovely babies. Little pumpkin has someone to play with. They will play together and keep eachother busy so I don't have to entertain, and can get stuff done! Better chance that I won't be having babies into my mid-thirties, and getting all that birthing done and out of the way quick. Kids will be close together, very important to me, since I'm 9 years apart from from my next sibling, and I'm the youngest.

I hear both ways are good. Kids a little farther apart, and closer together.
Hmm...I still don't know. What do you think? What did you do? Pros and cons?

*Disclaimer: This is assuming that we can get pregnant again fairly easily. The last time (also the first time) took about 6 months.*


  1. Mine at 14.5 months apart. Would I do it again? not for baby #3. Its hell for your body. And I'm not just talking the weight gain and stretch marks and all that. Its really hard on you physically. I wouldn't have had my babies this close either had I not felt impressed to. So I did. And its okay. Its not as hard (I say that today ha ha) as I thought it would be. The toddler is the hard one not the baby. And recovery time after baby #2's birth is way faster than on baby #1. So I am not sure, I think it all comes down to how you your hubby and the lord feel about it. People think you are crazy for having kids no matter how close or far apart they are. There is never a financial good time for children and its never easy but they are SO worth it. The joy they bring. Most of the time. ha ha. LOVES!

  2. All our kids are 2.5-3 years apart. Mainly because I was too overwhelmed to have them closer together. But I know the feeling that a baby is waiting and part of me is also ready for another already :) Probably won't happen for a while though. With EVERY child I've enjoyed them so much that I couldn't believe I postponed having them. I have a friend who is pregnant with #7 and her oldest is only 9. She loves having them close together and even homeschools them all, which amazes me (a discussion for another time). I guess it's different for everyone and that's where prayer comes in. And it true they do keep eachother busy sometimes but at times it's by fighting with one another, haha. I will say this, I've never waited for the right timing (we moved east while I was 8 and a half months preg) or the right weather and I've always felt strangthened during those times. It's divine work ;)

  3. Well, I have 4! Four incredible children. Close together or spaced apart? I did it both ways. My first 2 (boys) are 2 1/2 years apart. This was incredibly easy for me and I give all the credit to baby #1. He was the easiest baby and toddler - good natured, amazing sleeper, etc. So when baby #2 came along it was not an ordeal to give the new little guy all the attention that a newborn needs and wants. And my oldest adored his baby brother, which was very helpful. Then fast forward 7 years. Yes, it took me a long time to talk my husband into a third (I really wanted to have a third (I'll be honest...I wanted to try for a girl)). Though, my boys were such incredible people that I was also very content with the idea of another boy. We didn't find out what the gender was, so it was an especially amazing day when SHE arrived. The huge gap between #2 and #3 was great. My boys were at school and my whole world could revolve around this beautiful baby girl during the day. She enhanced our lives so much. About 5 minutes after she turned one, I found out I was having a "bonus baby". Completely unplanned, but absolutely a blessing. Our 4th was another boy. The 21 months between the 2 was challenging honestly. Our daughter is an extremely energetic, personable, social fireball. It was hard to arrange a calm environment for the new baby with Lauren being so active. I was literally always needing to be in 2 places at once - nursing the baby and catching the floor lamp that lauren had just pulled over.
    So, what I learned is this: when planning when to have the NEXT baby, look at the personality traits of the previous child. If he/she is easy-going then go for it. If they are more challenging and NEED you more then be fair to him/her and to yourself and wait until it is manageable. And be prepared to reevaluate your plans as you go. Six sounds much more appealing when you only have one (especially when that one is as easy as your little girl sounds to be). :)
    Side note: My husband and I lived in tiny little homes/apartments until we were almost in our 40s. I know it hard to always be content but life has amazing twists and turns. I love where our life is now and KNOW that we wouldn't be here but for our past experiences and a lot of patience. You sound like a person who finds the happiness in your situation rather than focusing on what you don't have. Best of luck to you


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